Dear Rebel

I knew I couldn't get through this post without tears (they are already streaming down my face as I try to find the words to appropriately commemorate your short, but sweet life). It's been just over one week since we lost you, and the wound is still raw.

I write this because I want our friends and family who never met you to know how special you were, because I want a place to find comfort when we miss you, and because I want Jackson to remember the puppy he adored.

Here are some of the memories that I will always hold close to my heart:

You were a lover. Kahla did all the hard protective work while you were young, so your only duty was to love. Kahla barked at all of our visitors, while you ran up offering a wagging tail and kisses. You LOVED. You loved Jackson, and you were so gentle with him, even when you didn't know any better.

Everyone loved you. You didn't jump, or get into the trash, or chew anything up (except for one pair of shoes, and man am I glad I kept them). You were an all-star at the vet and anywhere we took you (which I'm so grateful, was a LOT of places). You sat strong and tall and confident when anyone pet you.

You were my bathroom buddy. This sounds odd, but I love this. You always followed me into the bathroom, because you knew you could get one-on-one attention there. No kid (usually) and no Kahla. Just you and me, and a few extra hugs. I savored those moments as much as you did.

You loved to have your chest scratched. Every dog has their spot, and yours was your chest.

You were the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. You were going to be HUGE. The vet always marveled over your impressive (but controlled weight gain), your massive paws, your awesome ears, and your long tail.

You adored Kahla. When we took you for walks, you only felt comfortable right next to Kahla. When you got ahead or fell behind, you began to panic. She showed you the ropes, and together you played, explored, and ran.

You brought me a frozen rabbit. Speaking of exploring, you uncovered a frozen rabbit in the frozen tundra that is (still) our backyard. You brought it to me, which I didn't much appreciate, but I get the point. It's the thought that counts, right buddy?

You slept in your crate, even when you didn't have to. It's where you felt safe, and so every night (even though you had a bed, right next to ours), you would paw open the door, and sleep there. Sometimes you would shove yourself into a small corner of our room or under our bed. You liked the comfort of being enclosed.

You were my guy, and though you can no longer be our companion and protector here on earth, I know you are occupying our hearts and protecting us from another place.

Thanks for opening my heart, and reminding this little family that there is never a shortage of love. It doesn't divide, it only multiplies. A little happy chaos is a very, very good thing.

 

You had us at hello. 

TWO!

Someone turned two last week! I can hardly believe it has already been two years since the day you made your way into this world. In that short time, you've changed our world in the most incredible way. Life is sweeter, more vibrant, more fun, and more exhilarating than I knew was possible.

As sweet, tiny, babyhood slips away and I find myself looking at a little boy, I am comforted in knowing that it just gets better. And better.

You are such a sweet, kind, thoughtful kid. You are funny, and smart, and silly. You are cautious, careful, curious and observant.

Happy two years, little guy. This party we call life is just getting started. We are so thrilled to be a part of the adventure.