Back to Work: What I’ve Learned

Today concludes my first week back at work. It was hard, but not that hard. I honestly didn’t know how I would feel about returning to work after having Jackson. I always planned on it, simply because I love my job- I truly enjoy what I do, but until this week, I didn’t know if I would REALLY want to go back.

Some people just know, even possibly before they have a baby, whether they will be a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or something in between. I didn’t know, so I planned to go back. I was lucky that I have an incredible, understanding support system surrounding me at work. I was able to take a full 12 weeks off, which was the perfect amount of time. There were days I thought I would never be able to leave Jackson, not until he was at least 24 years old. There were days I broke down- I NEED social interaction. I NEED to feel productive. I NEED to leave this house. There were days I wanted nothing more than to stay snuggled up with that sweet baby on the couch all.day.long and never leave. It was a roller coaster.

Fast forward: Saturday night in bed, the weekend before returning to work. I cried. I cried for the things I might miss, the small moments I won’t see. I cried for how quickly 12 weeks went- how is he already this big? I cried for how quickly it will continue to go. How will I make this all work? How will I savor every moment?

Tyler reminded me that I have a choice, to take it one day at a time, and to see how I feel. Life happens whether I am right by his side all day, or whether I am working. No matter what, I will come home to him each night, and I will spend precious time with him then. Either way, the days will pass much too quickly.

So, on Monday I pulled on my big girl pants, and off to work I went. Now here we are, one week down. I feel GOOD, really good. Tyler spent most of the week with Jackson (he is between quarters in school). We are blessed that Tyler has such a flexible schedule, so he will spend a couple days a week with Jackson. The other days, we are incredibly lucky to have a close friend take him. While I am at work, he’ll be just a short 5 minute drive away- I could even meet them for lunch! So lucky. The child care situation also made my choice that much easier.

This is what I learned this week:

-I thrive on routine. I need a schedule. I am much happier when I know what to expect out of the day.

-Jackson is just fine. He will survive, even thrive without me by his side all day.

-Tyler is a GREAT dad. He has figured out a routine during the day with Jackson- which is more than I can say for myself while I was home. He sends me pictures, and he goes through their day in detail when I get home.

-Hours, minutes, seconds have never been more precious. Nights are sweeter, we catch up as a family, and I snuggle. A LOT. I fully expect the same from our weekends. That much sweeter.

-I have great friends inside and outside of work. They keep me sane. They ask about Jackson, and let me talk about the most important part of my life, whether they actually care to hear how many times he got up last night, or not J

-I CAN keep the house under control (with Tyler’s help).

-I am surviving. And happily. I might not always be a working mom, but for now this feels right. Like Tyler said, just one day at a time.

 

 

On my way to work: Jackson was still asleep, so I settled for a picture with Miss K (who was not interested).

 

After work... I think somebody missed me? Or, more likely, he's just hungry.

 

Luckily, this little dude has won over my department. I think he's welcome to visit anytime :)

 

Dad is handling the daily activities like a pro.

 

XOXO