The Friendships We Forge

A direct result of the unique challenges of military life is the incredible friendships that emerge. As a result of being displaced from family, the military community becomes a soft place to fall. Each time we move, we are greeted by complete strangers who will quickly become an extension of family. Before they know our children’s names, they will offer to help us house hunt, unpack, and babysit our kids while we try to make some sort of sense of our new ‘home.’ And we will take them up on it.

As a military family, we have learned to not only be resilient and flexible, but to jump into friendships head first, without looking back. We don’t have time to let our relationships bloom over time organically. Instead, we must put ourselves out there, bearing who we are at the core from the beginning. We ask for favors normally reserved for family – rides to the airport, dog sitting, overnight babysitting, emergency middle of the night calls... you get the idea.

It is a unique benefit of this unsteady and unpredictable lifestyle – lifelong friendships forged in a matter of months, and forever held sacred. A unique bond and understanding between people who need each other when life becomes uncertain. It is the single benefit my grandmothers most fondly look back on, when reminiscing about their own military experience.

And along with that benefit, is the inevitable painful goodbye we’ll face when it’s time to move on to the next place. This summer, we’ll say goodbye to several of the families that have made Rome, New York bearable. Even enjoyable. They are the reason we’ll look back at this chapter with such fond memories. The people we shared homes with, laughed until we cried with, leaned on in times of hardship, and grew with over a couple of short years.

In particular, this week, we say goodbye to the family with whom we spent many evenings tucking our kids into bed together, then sitting around the kitchen table, chatting, sipping wine, and playing games into the wee hours of the morning.

This will mark the first time I need to explain to Jackson why he won’t see his best friends anymore, and as I try to justify this to him, I’ll be once again, justifying it to myself.

Saying goodbye never gets easier, but I move forward grateful to have these memories, to have met these people. The most worthwhile things are never easy. Forever grateful for the friendships we forge.